Wednesday, 25 November 2009

THE BLACKEST NIGHT #5 - ULTRA MEGA SPOILER/ REVIEW

Green Lantern #48 takes place before The Blackest Night #5

ohh yeah..


"Bruce Wayne of Earth"


The issues pretty good too. Some art/rushed coloring problems, but pretty tight and finally involving Green Lanterns in a Green Lantern story(pretty much proving everything I said about Didio seeing a $ oppurtunity to turn this into a DC wide crossover true - which happened, and did take away from the story)

Wednesday, 10 December 2008

Final Crisis #5 - Review


I'm back with the first Final Crisis review again.(I think)

Wow. That was not a bad issue at all. Still not great but not bad at all. I think after reading this and the past issues I realize this doesn't feel like an event. It's very unprofessional from every standpoint. It doesn't look like care was put into it.

The whole behind the scenes mess and scandal or bullshit scandal. And editorial mismangement. Mean this has lost all the impact it should have had. This is a clusterfuck. Infinite Crisis turned into drivel, but from Issues 1-4, they grabbed you by the balls, it felt important, it felt grand, it felt EPIC. This doesn't.

Maybe it isn't meant to but I can't help but feel it should have been. Parts of it feel like hope is lost but then it doesn't.

What everyone always talks about with Morrison is concepts and it's everywhere here. concepts about anything and everything, going against the natural order of everything a normal human believes. all types of ideals and ideas turned on itself. the notion of an ultra god and the universe collapsing under his weight. Morrison should have written the bible.

As for the story, the preview pages showed how heavily the Green Lanterns are involved in this. With the massive boost in popularity and acclaim that Geoff Johns' reinvisioned GL Mythos has had in the past few years, The Green Lanterns and the mythos itself has become a stronger and larger part of the DCU. So it makes sense for them to have a big role to play. The coolest thing about Final Crisis and the past few issues is how Morrison has made the Mythic superheroes of the DCU, the big guns, the Gods themselves; Superman, Batman, Hal Jordan, Barry Allen, Martian Manhunter, Wonder Woman (poor Aquaman) far larger and greater within the universe itself. They are Gods. They are the ultimate heroes. Hal Jordan is shown why he is one of the big guns, he's a normal human in most cases, but within the confines of this universe and it's ideals, he is a mythical God, something that just can't be broken or held back, something that goes beyond life and death.

The Idea I liked most is that Darkseid invades and whilst this invasion happens the big guns are taken out or M.I.A. The idea that if these big guns were around they just couldn't invade. Superman sent into the multiverse, Batman captured, Hal Jordan framed, Barry Allen dead and in the middle of a resurrection, Wonder Woman infected, Martian Manhunter killed, Aquaman M.I.A(i get the feeling he'll make a re-entrance). Darkseid knows these guys are not to be fucked with.

So in this issue it starts with Hal Jordan bein tried by the court of Oa. According to the book of Oa, an Alpha Lantern is infallible which is why the word of Kraken who obviously has something wrong with her is taken so strongly. However, the cool thing is that the Guardians recognize what a hero Jordan is so they want to examine it carefully, just in time for Guy and Kyle to come and save the day. Kraken is revealed to be harboring Granny Goodness who wants to steal the power of the central battery. She fails and the Green Lanterns are sent to save the planet, led by Hal Jordan. Yes, badass. And it looks like ALL the Green Lanterns are being sent in as an army to fight Darkseid's forces. Darkseid doesn't see this coming, but we'll see how that turns out.

Back on Earth, Checkmate reveals that they have created seven day lifespan super soldiers which are a last move in case the 'superheroes failed to save us'. The Soldiers themselves are Kirby's Omac's.

In Bludhaven, Darkseid's minions each try to get on top of the other by pleasing him so he won't kill them. Already the evilness of Darkseid has become far more absolute compared to the Fourth World Version. Darkseid sends his army to confront the Superhero squad that is making it's way to fight his forces. His forces include his new Furies(Wonder Woman's animal face thing is a mask, not her actual face, but like a war mask) and

Kalibak's new squad of Killer humanoid tigers(comic books yay) known as the Tiger-Clan.The actual Superhero squad is small which we learn because some are dead, some are missing and others have become Justifiers. The Squad is varied with Frankenstein leading the way, Supergirl, Freddy Freeman, Black Adam, John Stewart, Half the JSA, Red Arrow, Vixen, Blue Deul and other charging through the beautiful ruins of Bludhaven.

At Checkmate headquarters, a battle continues. Tempest and Hawkgirl try their best to fight the forces, Alan Scott gets overwhelmed by more Justifiers including a Justifier Donna Troy, when Hawkman shows up with a bunch of flying heroes fucking people up.

Inside Checkmate, A member of the Super Young Team who is like The Wasp with super breath attacks the checkmate soldiers till mr Terrific calms everybody down. Motherboxxx found them and took the super young team there, Mister MIracle can't be killed so he gets up on his flying discs. The coolest Morrisonian aspect, the Motherboxxx analogy "Motherboxx is more than a machine. If Gods made I-pods that were alive? Way beyond that". Mr Terrific says that Checkmate has drawn enemy fire there to let the squad in bludhaven end it at the source. It's there they find out that time and space is breaking, that Darkseid is about to ascend which could be the equivalent of being Self-Aware. In this case the Swiss border moved. Mister Terrific says that a Devil God is dragging them down into nothingness, a place with no light, no time, no hope and no escape. it's there he tells everyone to paint the symbol on their faces, the one that Anthro painted on himself. The symbol of Metron.

The Squad in Bludhaven are attempting to break the force field that covers Darkseid's headquarters. Kalibak and his aquad are about to strike but "wait for the lightning" which happens to be a psychotic Mary Marvel who is flying straight at Supergirl, but mid way is intercepted by Black Adam who then flies her through a building(badass) and starts beating the shit out of her, but she enjoys it. Freddy naively(but of course typically) tries to stop Black Adam who is trying to kill her because it's the only choice, of course it backfires and Adam was right as Mary throws a car at Adam knowing him out. Freddy tries to plead with her but to no avail, she has a new word, a blasphemous word. Mary is acting all bad sexy girl to Freddy, and taunting him until Tawny Tiger shows up with a piece of weaponry developed by Dr Sivanna's son, he tells Mary to step aside and say her word. Freddy tells him to get away that it's not her and she'll kill him, but Kalibak knocks him out. A Tiger vs Tiger battle was going to happen. One in a war outfit, the other in a suit. Maybe next issue.

Elsewhere in Bludhaven, that exiled monitor is thrown into a room for later use by Mokkari to experiment on, see he and some others, who are wired differently(or what looks like to be from another part of the multiverse) aren't affected by Anti Life. It's there that some strange figure in a robe on the corner tells the monitor that there is a special number, a God number, one related to the amount of moves made to solve a Rubik's cube(that Morrison), he also says it was the monitor who summoned 'him'(i'm assuming Darkseid). The monitor is broken, he thinks it's all hopeless. The figure tells him that if the superheroes can't save them then he should think of something and make it real. It's there he remembers the name of a Monitor; Weeja Dell. Right when that happens, Mokkarri and some justifiers walk in. When a man also in the room in a wheelchair who is out of his mind, solves the Rubik's cube in 17 moves, the number of the Gods. And his eyes light up and there is a bright white heat of light.

In Bludhaven, some eerie visual imagery of the dark red skies and public, medievil executions. Libra sends the Calculator to be executed, for allegations that he helped the heroes coordinate the attack. From what you can see, you get the feeling it was Luthor who is helping the heroes. Libra tells Luthor that he'll be leading the rearguard at the bridge in Bludhaven. I've given J.G Jones alot of shit but I give him props for this page. You can just comepletely see that Luthor regrets what he's gotten himself into, that he feels powerless and almost ready to cry.

Darkseid begins to wake, as he does, his minions start dying. Simyan, Mokkari, Godfrey, all die. Darkseid is pure death. He says that no living thing can resist him now and that people have only ever faced the idea of a God before, but now he is a God incarnate. "All is one in Darkseid!".

At the bridge, it's there Supergirl sees a massive energy within the bunker(Darkseid) connecting to a gigantic nervous system. Basically Darkseid is becoming everything(this is trippy stuff, much cooler than Christianity). John Stewart screaming that everything is falling into Darkseid. Time is distorting and that he needs backup. The problem with this is visually, it's hard to interpret time distorting, if anything it was clearer in Infinite crisis. The guardians note that help is on the way, with the Green Lanterns lead by Hal Jordan almost there until they reach Earth or Earths. As the multiverse seems to have broken into singularities. I really think Phil Jimenez captured the visual scope of broken multiverses better.

Back on Earth everything starts to fall. The president realizes that they have lost. John Stewart doesn't know what is going on and his ring is failing. Libra calls out that the Fifth world is here as the sky breaks open. Darkseid awakens "I.Am.The.New.God"

He speaks to the world. He controls the world. The fifth world is here and he has taken over it. He has taken over every single mind. And he speaks some of the most EVIL most mythic dialogue a God could ever speak. Poetic.

This is brilliant stuff, just so approproate "When I stare into your eyes and shatter your dreams. and break your heart. it is with six billion eyes". He says to the large group of humans in front of him who now bow to his every word.

The great thing about this and how grand and epic Darkseid is, that Superman will fight him or even attempt to fight him. Speaks to the mythical heroic ideal aspect of Superman, it isn't just about the American Dream and the immigrant story, that's all fine and dandy. But to others, Superman is the mythical good, the one that fights evil at it's grandest. He is an ideal. He is greater than just the American Dream.

In the bunker. The remants of the Rubik's Cube debacle reveal itself. As something new has been born. The Judge of all evil. The monitor has become something else. basically a dude going to an S&M underground club. But I'm sure it's something bigger than that. It's Nix Uaton, but seems more like that Mandrakk the Dark monitor that the solicitations have been talking about.

A pretty solid issue. The art is still pretty lackluster, and this feels more like a miniseries than an event. The art, the wider editorial aspect. But the concepts, the ideas, are pretty great. Mindfucks but this is a mindfuck I like. However, how are they going to wrap this up in two more issues. We'll see. But this does go by too fast and I do get the feeling, a rush job like the atrocity of the last issues of Infinite Crisis is on hand.

The art isn't that good, not for something this big and grand. Leinel Yu definately won this year and now with the different artists coming next. Ha.

Ohh Dan Didio, you funny cunt. Can't wait to see how you ruin The Blackest Night, ohh you already have, by making it a DC event rather than just the Green Lantern event it was going to be.

Wednesday, 25 June 2008

Green Lantern #32 - Review


Wow. After the dissapointment of Final Crisis #2 it was great to pick up the best book on stands right now and enjoy it, immensely. This is a great issue with great art and a great storyline. Some people have said it's redundant but they can fuck themselves. There was Emerald Dawn and Emerald Dawn 2 but it never felt definitive, it felt like there was more left to tell. Geoff Johns has laid out one of the best comic book origin stories there is. Yes, it's up there with Year One but Year One wasn't as great as to be translated to the screen directly, whilst this one does feel that way.

Geoff Johns is the only human who knows how to write Hal Jordan. Most opinions you'll hear are that he is boring and dull, the straight laced character who was replaced by Kyle Rayner because of said traits. But no longer, well not for a while now, Jordan is a great character and Johns just keeps adding more to him and giving him a normal personality. There is great stuff here, Jordan's interaction with Carol Ferris being a highlight.

The best part? Tying in the origin of Hector Hammond with Green Lantern, that is just great. A team of scientists led by Hammond try to take apart Abin Sur's ship, obviously for reverse engineering etc and when Hammond opens the fuel cells he is exposed to that infamous meteor which so happens to power the ship.

Another highlight? The Red Lantern Oath.

"With blood and rage
of Crimson Red
Ripped from a corpse
so freshly dead

Together with our Hellish Hate
We'll burn you all
That is your fate"

And there is a great moment that reminds me about Yoda talking about the Force in Empire. The scene from Tales of the Sinestro Corps when Sinestro blows up Jordan's ship is expanded and Sinestro talks about Fear cracking willpower and it's constructs, but Anger distorts it. Once again laying out the forthcoming The Blackest Night and the coming of the Red Lanterns. But Sinestro talking about a Green Lantern needing to be focused whilst he puts his ship back together is great stuff. Similar to Yoda lifting the X-wing from the swamp. I guess I just visualize this moment on screen with the same music and this jet getting put back together piece by piece,

It will be the dichotomy between the Green Lanterns and the Red Lanterns. I guess it's why the Green Lanterns are so powerful in regards the to Lanterns themselves, they have to be attuned to their emotions and themselves which makes Hal Jordan all the more a strong mythic character. He truly is a superhero. Whilst as has been said the further you are from the center of the emotional spectrum, the less control you have. And Red is on the far end of the negative side of the spectrum. So how will this play out in terms of Red Lanterns and their constructs?

Secret Origin will continue with the next issue which will see the actual partnership between Hal and Sinestro and I can't wait. An interesting thing to note is that the Black Hand is a major major part of the Black Lanterns, it doesn't seem like he'll just be one of the front henchmen or symbols but one of the main guys. He is the one that will supposedly bring about the "birth of the black". Epic stuff indeed. I still believe that Abin Sur is the leader of the Black Lanterns. Pick this book up right now.

Final Crisis # 2 - Review / Rant


Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. If this is what there is to be expected of Final Crisis for the following issues then Marvel will have victory, again, just like last time, and the time before that, and the time before that time. Ridiculous.

I cannot believe that two issues in this is to be expected from DC's Mega Event. It's supposed to be special. Grant Morrison himself said it was The Lord of the Rings of the DCU, Lord of the Rings wasn't half assed. There's a reason that it's considered the greatest novel ever written. This had so much hype and excitement coming in, the story is called FINAL CRISIS, which is the most epic fucking sounding thing ever, and it has been pathetic so far. How do you have an event called FINAL CRISIS about the end of the world of superheroes, see that. SUPERHEROES. The end of their age. How do you do that and make it so pedestrian.

It's so badly paced and structured, things just happen out of nowhere, too quick, it's as if it's jump cutting through scenes and there is a lot we are missing. Some bad storytelling. I'll give you an example. I couldn't work out what was supposed to happen when John Stewart gets attacked by a Green Lantern, the way the sequence was told, was confusing due to the other Lantern being there, I didn't know if it was him or not. Probably the most confusing part of the issue.

It never concerned me like other people complaining about issue 1 about it not being accessible, editorial fuckups were what concerned me. Sure Morrison said "so what, forget the other stuff and enjoy the comic" easy for him to say, he wasn't the one out of pocket 70 bucks. You don't need to know everyone to get the story at the start, like some idiot people said that they couldn't get into it because they didn't know the people. Did you know who Indiana Jones was when Raiders came out? No, you fuck. Either way those people are idiots and yes in issue 2 it will still confuse them but that wasn't a problem then or now. What i'm trying to say is that the biggest issues are other things. The editorial fuck ups aren't really here though, so thank goodness for that.

I'm gonna say it. Hiring J.G Jones to do the art was a big fucking mistake. Huge mistake. I heard that he spent most of his time working on designs, almost a year. That's fine. But he should have done just that. The designs. Not the art. It's very mediocre art, it looks like one of the hacks from Countdown drew it. You know those weird pages in issue 1 that looked like they were done by a fill in artist? The entirity of issue 2 barring two pages, looks like that. Absolutely pathetic. I cannot believe J.G Jones had a year of lead time, and this is what he comes up with and then a fucking fill in artist comes in on issue 4, how the fuck does he hold a pencil? With his eyes, is that why it takes so long? What the fuck has he been doing all this time? I just can't believe the guy who drew those gorgeous 52 covers did this stuff or even the first few pages of Issue 1 which were very very nice. But a year of leadtime and the best he comes up with are the opening pages of Issue 1 and then this rushed art. Some people complain about Leinel Yu's art because it's different, but it's stylish, it looks nice, you can't open up Ultimate Wolverine vs Hulk and tell me it isn't nice. I don't know if you can really blame DC Editorial on this one since Jones hasn't ever been a regular artist and I doubt they would know that he wouldn't be able to turn in quality work on such a deadline.

Like I have said to other people. J.H Williams III should have done the art, he is consistent, he is the best artist hands down on both major companies and he would have done something amazing with this, with the storytelling with the actual art. This just reads like another comic, any random mediocre comic you'd pick up with a real fucking nice cover. I expected alot more and alot of other people will too. I can't believe they allowed this art to go through on such a big event. We all know Marvel has the best art and artists, their worst looking books, look like DC's best, but this is just ridiculous. There's nothing special about the art, it's just another comic. Which makes it all the more hilarious that a fill in artist is being brought in, how do you bring a fill in artist to help a guy producing sub par work? Remember Ultimates, how that had brilliant art but was incredibly delayed because of the art, it would make sense if they needed a deadline to bring in a fill in artist to help out, but not if the art looks like ass. This might just become the lauging stock of fanboys and I don't blame them.

It should be something specific and stylized. David Aja(Immortal Iron Fist), Bryan Hitch(Ultimates), Alex Maleev(Daredevil), Steve McNiven(Civil War), Leinel Yu(Secret Invasion). They all have their own styles that when a non comic reader sees them, they go 'woaahhh' but this stuff gets a reaction more like 'ok'. I'm not saying it should be like any one of those guys, but they have art that is different and nice to look at. Any one of the countdown boys for hire could have drawn this. And that is very dissapointing. Can you imagine Children of Men photographed by some random cinematographer? That's what it feels like. So that's basically what it is. Aja, Hitch, Maleev, McNiven, Yu. They are your Lubezki's, Deakins', Elswits', Lesnie's, Doyle's but this was done by the guy who photographed Kickboxer 4: The Aggressor.

And all this talk of Turpin beating the Mad Hatter with a toilet seat. And you don't even see him actually beat him with the toilet seat. Pathetic.

All of this and I haven't even talked about the actual story. Well basically, very slowly and I repeat VERY SLOWLY are the bad guys plodding and doing their supervillain thing in destroying the good guys. The big guns being taken out bit by bit is a great idea, I loved the idea of Hal Jordan being taken offline so to speak because he's motherfucking Hal Jordan, so taking him out of the equation is important, because he's a Green Lantern and because he's Hal Jordan. Taken out physically and via Green Lanterns is a great idea. Taking out John Stewart. Taking out the brains of the superheroes, Batman. An attempt to take out Superman, or what Superman holds dear. All interesting ideas that hopefully will get better.

The biggest issue about the issue(ha) apart from the art, is the way the story unfolds, moreso in the way the panels are constructed, it's too quick, it's as if we see a 2 minute snippet and it's all crammed together and then boom go to the next scene, dialogue doesn't flow well so you have to read it twice. Read the second last page with the flashes and tell me it doesn't read weirdly.

The last page, whilst pretty predictable, is interesting in what is happening. But again, the art. What the fuck man?

The Morrison aspect of the story isn't bad truth be told, the Japanese super heroes, the time travelling God bullet are all interesting ideas and very Morrison, I just had a big issue with the art. Also i doubt this will make people scratch their heads as much as last time, well those not versed in the ways of Grant Morrison. A bit more accessible I guess.

I have to say that if issue 3 doesn't do something good and I don't mean take off like they have said, but if they don't present a presentable comic then this spells doom for DC, another One Year Later. Wow, that event was pretty stupid eh?

- Edit: Ok, so I read it again. It reads better the second time but the art is still shitty. And I never said J.G Jones is a hack artist, but this work looks like it was done by one of the hack artists from countdown, far from the covers of 52, Wanted or the first issue of Final Crisis.

Saturday, 6 January 2007

The first post. The second sentence. Already Pretenscious. And it rhymes. And I spelt pretentious wrong. On purpose. General Elitist.

Here you'll find opinions, articles, more opinions, attacks, thoughts and more opinions. Enjoy.

Damn You Michael Bay.